some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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