Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
