This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
