So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
