we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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