I hate your face
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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