I smell stomach acid.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
