Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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