sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
