Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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