The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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