It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
