I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
