Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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