I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize