he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
