wat bout pragnant strippers??
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
