I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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