your parents love me but you hate me
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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