What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
