It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
