You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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