My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
