I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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