everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
