1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
