Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
