I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
