i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize