Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
