he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
