another moral hangover. fuck.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
