I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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