guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
