yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
