D3 body, D1 cock
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
