dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
