i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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