the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just found a bag of teeth...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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