I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
