I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His hands were made for my vagina.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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