How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is the high leading the old right now
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
