Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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