I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
