just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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