Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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