I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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