At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
