After last night, I could never be a politician.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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