Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
