Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
