Three words: puerto rican gang bang
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize