yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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