She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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