I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
