did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
