It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
