I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Panties = found
Randomize
