Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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