addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
