I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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