I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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