I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
