Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just gargled with NyQuil
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
