so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
