Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
