Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
