with your own penis?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
