Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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