i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
