I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
