how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
