Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
