He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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