do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
