im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
