we're blogging at a bar
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
