I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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