So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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