Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
