just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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